A blessing!

Well it is time to announce that I am pregnant! I am 12 weeks and 2 days today. The Lord has blessed my husband and I tremendously. So far this has been a wonderful experience - I am thrilled to be blessed in this way! Going through what I have makes me so much more grateful for this little miracle growing in my belly. Not that I wouldn't have been thankful before, but just a different perspective I guess. I refuse to complain about anything I experience during this pregnancy because I will go through anything in order to hold this baby in my arms in 6 months!

Beginning:
I was a few days late, and I hesitated to take the pregnancy test because honestly I was afraid of it saying yes. I was just so scared that I would have to go through another blighted ovum. I finally took the test and it said pregnant. It was very hard for me to be excited about it or anything until I knew that there was something to for sure be happy about. This may sound horrible, but I just didn't want to get my hopes up I guess. My amazing doctor immediately sent in an order for some blood work and other tests and I went in to see her the week after I called with the news. Around week 6 I went in for more testing and my levels were increasing perfectly, but I was still hesitant. I scheduled my first ultrasound at week 8. And here is what I saw:

I was so nervous going in to this ultrasound too - afraid I would hear bad news and not see a sweet baby on that screen. But once I saw this wonderful sight I started crying tears of joy! Hearing that heartbeat was music to my ears...

12 weeks:
I scheduled my next ultrasound at 12 weeks. I was slightly nervous just because I wanted to know that everything was still okay. Here is what I saw on that visit:

Already in love with him/her

Love those little hands!

This pictures is so cute. It's little bottom with its legs sticking straight up!

And a beautiful 3D view

During this ultrasound, the baby was bouncing and moving all over the place. It was so surreal - to think that that baby up on the screen was really mine! Words cannot describe the joy I felt and feel from seeing this sweet and precious baby. I cannot wait until I get to see him/her again!! At least I got to hear the heartbeat again at my doctor appointment the day after! I was able to record it on my phone too, so I can listen to it whenever I want. 

Throughout Pregnancy So Far:

Just a quick overview of how I have felt! I have been pretty nauseous, mainly in the evenings and at night. Thankfully, I have not thrown up yet or anything, but there have been may times I thought I would at any minute. I cannot eat spicy foods anymore. And let me tell you, this is hard for me. I LOVE mexican food - I could eat it everyday, well use to anyway! :) I grew up eating salsa and anything hot and spicy. But this type of food gives me some major indigestion and I usually feel pretty terrible for a while afterwards. It is kind of fun trying to figure out what I can and cannot eat anymore! I crave apples! For a little while I craved pizza a lot. Now I want hot dogs along with with my apples. My clothes do not fit anymore. I had to get a belly band pretty early on, but had to give in and just buy some bigger sized jeans and dress pants. I am excited to see my belly grow - I have taken some pictures, I will try to upload them soon. I am really enjoying being pregnant so far and look forward to all that is to come!

Firsts:
I have experienced many firsts so far this pregnancy. I have never had heartburn in my life, until a few weeks ago I woke up in some serious discomfort. My chest was very uncomfortable and honestly I wasn't sure what was going on at first. Anyway, I was up the rest of the night laying on the couch waiting for it to go away. I finally found that drinking a big glass of milk calms heartburn. :) Learn something new everyday! Then about a week or so ago I woke up and had a major cramp in my calf muscle. Yet another thing I have never experienced! Now that was painful, plus I was half asleep so it seemed so much worse than it really was. That was a fun night too. It is fun though getting to experience new things!

Well, this is long enough. Now that the announcement has been made, I will hopefully be able to keep you all updated on what I am experiencing and all that fun stuff!!

Keep growing little one! Can't wait to meet you! :)

What a Day!

So my husband and I were given tickets to the OU v. Texas game and the Texas Rangers game on Saturday. We drove most of the way and stayed in a hotel in Irving Texas Friday night, so that we could get up and have plenty of time to get to the OU game the next morning. Well traffic was crazy and we were about 10 minutes from the stadium and needed to pull off the highway for a minute. Well when we went to start the car back up and get to the game, the car would not start. The battery died. Thankfully my husband had met a guy who lives in Dallas just the week before. If he had not met this guy, who knows what we would have done being in a city we are not familiar with and not knowing anyone else who lived close enough. So this guy drove about 30 minutes to get to us and jump started our car, followed us to a place we could get a new battery and get the car fixed. Once it was all ready to go the game was already in the 3rd quarter, so we decided it was not worth it to go to the rest of it. Plus OU had a solid lead anyway. We hopped in the car and headed for Arlington to make it to the Rangers game. We got there pretty early, so we napped in the car (since we had a pretty exhausting morning) and then just strolled around the ballpark for awhile. It was a little cloudy, but not too bad at the time. Well the game got started and a few innings in had to be delayed due to rain. So we waited it out and they got started up again. We made it to the top of the 5th inning, and yet another rain delay. We planned on driving back home that same night and it was already 10 PM. So...we figured it would be best to just head home since we didn't know if they would be able to resume the game or not. At least we got to listen to the rest of the game on the radio on the drive home! We finally made it home around 2:30 or so AM. It poured rain on us the whole way. Needless to say, it was an eventful weekend and we were pretty exhausted on Sunday. Weekend didn't turn out at all planned and was slightly stressful - but good things have come from it and it all worked out anyway! Just have to learn to go with the flow sometimes!

My sweet doggy, Marlon

I got home Monday afternoon and went about my normal after work routine. While I was in the bathroom, Marlon (my little 3 year old weenie dog) came in and I noticed something weird on his little body. My head was kind of feeling funny, so honestly I thought I was seeing things or something. You know when you have those weird moments where you feel completely disoriented? Anyway, I took a few more looks and noticed he had huge welts all over his chest and armpits. I immediately started shaking because it scared me! I had never seen anything like this before. I called my husband and told him something was wrong and I decided to go ahead and take him to the ER (since his normal vet office was already closed). They told me he had hives and had an allergic reaction to something outside or possibly a bug bite or sting. So he got 2 shots and they thankfully went down by the next morning. I went in to work late so that I could monitor him some and make sure he wasn't acting weird and to also give him some children's benedryl. Well, after getting better he woke me up this morning with them all over his poor body again. I had to call in to work, that I was going to be late again, and took him to get another shot. He has been pretty sleepy today, but the bumps are slowly going away again. I have to give him benedryl twice a day for a few days to hopefully keep them from coming back. I feel so bad for Marlon! He has been through a lot and I am sure it cannot be comfortable to have hives all your body! The only thing I can think of that he could be reacting to is that we had our yard sprayed a couple weeks ago. I wouldn't think it would irritate him so much later, but who knows! Hopefully he will be all better soon and not have to worry about getting hives anymore!

from then until now

Hello,
So this is my first attempt at writing a blog. I thought I could share my journey this past year and then continue on with my life from there! This first post will mainly be catching you up on my life and loss since July of last year. So here goes!

My husband and I got married in August of 2008. We decided to start trying to have children last year, so we began trying in July. Well needless to say it did not take long for me to have a positive pregnancy test the next month. We were thrilled! We decided to go ahead and tell our family and friends the good news - I was about 6 weeks along when we told everyone. Everything seemed to be going just fine. The OB I was seeing at the time did not do ultrasounds until the 22nd week, so I was pretty anxious having to wait that long! When I was 12 weeks, I was at work and noticed I had some bleeding. I had had a little bit of bleeding before this, but my doctor told me it was normal, so I didn't really think much more about it. Anyway, the bleeding started September 14th. I monitored it and it continued through the evening, so my husband and I decided to go to the hospital to see what was going on. I went through a crazy amount of tests and ultrasounds. They kept saying "Oh, you may not be as far along as we thought" I wanted to tell them to just tell me the truth and to stop trying to make me feel better. I know these nurses only have the best of intentions when they say things like this, but I would rather them just give it to me straight. They finally came back after being in the ER for several hours and told me that I had a blighted ovum (this is where you get a positive pregnancy test, your body goes through most early pregnancy signs, and you secrete HCG, but when seen in an ultrasound an empty gestational sac is what you see) and that there was no baby. I would began miscarrying that morning. I will say that this was by far the most painful experience I have ever had, physically and emotionally. I was off work for 2 weeks. I became severely anemic and had a bad reaction to some pain medication my doctor put me on. Through all this, I had trouble getting my doctor to test for my iron levels and everything else. When they would take a test, they never called me to let me know what the results were, so I had to keep calling them and they still gave me the run around. When I had my reaction to the pain medication (my eyes were swollen shut, I had an unbearable headache, and so on) I called my doctor and she told me to go to the ER, so I did and the doctor there talked with my OB to see what was going on and they came to the conclusion that I just had a virus that I got from someone I was around. Really?! I was not happy. I don't think a cold or whatever would make my eyes swell and give me all of the symptoms of an allergic reaction. I also was so anemic that I could not stand up at all. I had to crawl to the bathroom. I had to have someone at home with me at all times. I could go on and on about how awful it was, but let's just say I was NOT going back to that doctor after how I was treated. It is hard enough to go through a miscarriage or believe you are pregnant and then find out there was never a baby even growing in there - the last thing I needed was to have my OB not really care about what I was going through...

We were told to wait at least 2 months before trying to conceive again. In this time, I went to check out some new doctors and found one I really liked. We became pregnant again in December of 2010. This time we only told a couple close friends and our immediate family members. My new doctor scheduled my first ultrasound at about 11.5 weeks (in March). I felt sick and had all the pregnancy symptoms again. I never had any sign of bleeding and things seemed to be going alright. I met my husband at the office to get our first ultrasound. I was so nervous and honestly I just did not have much hope that things were okay this time - it just didn't feel right. The technician put the jelly on my belly and started to take a look. Immediately I knew something was wrong because there was no heartbeat for one and two the picture up on that screen looked the exact same as it did last time. Again the tech, only trying to be nice, said that I may not be a far along as we estimated and decided to do a vaginal ultrasound to take a closer look. Again the picture was all too familiar. She said she was so sorry but did not see a baby in there. I was devastated. You don't think something like this would ever happen to you - and definitely not more than once! I had to get dressed and go meet a doctor there to tell me about what he saw - I had a blighted ovum for the second time in a row. The next morning I met with my new OB. I had begun miscarrying that night before meeting with my OB that morning. She was wonderful to me and I can not thank her and her nurses enough for how they made the experience as good as it could be considering the circumstances. They tested my levels once a week and would call me first thing the next morning to tell me what the results were and they were great at explaining everything to me so I would know what was going on. The second time was still just as hard emotionally, but was a lot less painful physically.

Well that is my story so far! Sorry it is kind of long, I tried to shorten it as much a possible! I do hope and pray that the Lord will bless us with a child one day. It can be difficult to trust in His sovereignty and trust that His timing is best, but I try my hardest to do this. His will, not my own!
Thanks for reading!